Pertemuan Pertama

Aisyah College

IIUM

Aku di dalam keadaan tip-top. Segalanya dari rambut yang tersisir rapi (ke arah belakang), muka yang berseri-seri. Berlengan panjang, bertali-leher canggih dari Tie Rack. Semua rasaku, serba menawan.

Dengan segala keyakinan, aku pergi ke tempat yang aku tak pernah pergi, mencari seseorang yang tak pernah terlintas nak berkenalan (... tak masuk dalam list, kataku dulu).

Kuakui, harus aku berterima kasih pada pengalaman. Yakinku makin menebal. Ya lah, bertemu Datuk Pengarah, Ketua Jabatan, Engineer Kanan dll., pun tak punya masalah ...

... inikan pula, just another girl.

Kalau boleh ku kira (dan ku bilang) pada gadis-gadis (yang di-arrange oleh kakakku dan ibuku) yang menemukan aku di suasana sebegini ... pertemuan pertama ini, sepanjang tahun '92 iaitu:

Syikin
Zaidatul
Almalena
Zalila
Zuraini etc.

Semuanya bisa di-control. No problemo !

Ok.

Ready.

Tenang.

Dia dah datang. Agak kurus (my ideal ... macam Linda, biar solid sikit).

Bertudung (semua yang di atas, ain't).

Putih.

"Hai!"

Dia duduk (aku yang sememangnya sedang duduk).

"Kenal?"

Dia mengangguk.

Perbualan tak rasmi dua hala berterusan. Cara bicaranya (walau agak gugup kadang-kadang) dan cara dia berfikir dapat memuaskankan spesifikasi seorang aku.

Anehnya, aku secara tak sengaja, menapis segala ketidaktepatan bahasa dan ketidakjituan pengolahan pengucapannya.

Yang terus menusuk ke jiwa lelaki ini ialah suatu statement (kenyataan) ... yang perempuan di depanku ini berkemungkinan besar adalah ORANGNYA.

Ya, kemungkinan besar, dialah orangnya.

Aku mula senyum sendirian.

Dia masih gugup.

Aku terus menerus senyum sendirian.

Tamatlah sudah pencarian, kata hatiku.

Epic Train Journey

Madras to Tirunelveli

South Indian Railways Class T (Steam Locomotive)

Distance: 624 km (18 hr)

Madras (Chennai) to Tirunelveli, over 600 km journey

I was on my 'four months' sabbatical entourage with the Tablighi Jamaat soon after getting my Aerospace Engineering degree from the University of Glasgow. This was a period of time, before I came back to Malaysia and supposedly having to serve the Government (it's contractual) as I was one of their Public Services Department scholar.

That, was 'some' decision to make. But then again, I thought that if I missed this window of opportunity, there's no way I could find another, especially once I started working. Not to mention, what my parents would have said and reacted.

So there I was, in the middle of nowhere. Riding on a narrow gauge train with steam driven locomotive. This was still in the early 1990s anyway. The Indian Railway, even though it has become the backbone of the country transportation, it was not yet fully modernised.

This Madras (now Chennai) to Tirunelveli train was really a long journey, even though not as arduous as the trips I took before i.e. from Delhi to Madras or from Karachi to Lahore where I was riding in these express trains practically in days. Those long train journeys really had me occupied in deep thoughts about the my purpose of life, about my long lost GF, and about everything else for that matter.

For whatever reason, all the coaches on this steam train were all individual wagon type. Meaning, you can't move from one coach to another coach. Once the train is moving, you will be stuck in your own coach.

Somewhere about halfway during the journey, the train stopped at a station named Tiruchirappalli. I asked my fellow traveller who's an Indian, 

'So, brother. How long this train would stop here?'

Obviously, I had to make that famous Indian-head-wobble (head-shake) together with my query, just to prove a point. In fact, I've already mastered this gesture ever since I landed in the Indian sub-continent two months back. This head-wobble, I tell you ... it's very infectious. 

In fact, nothing seems to be complete without it. I observed that this head wobbling thing, can be used to express appreciation or thanks as well as to acknowledge someone's presence (especially if you see someone you know across the street but can't shout out to them). This delicate movement of the head can also be seen as a gesture of kindness or goodwill. For example, when suddenly someone sits down next to you on the train even though you have paid for the whole seat / sleeping berth, you just have to wobble your head. I had many of those occasions during the Delhi-Madras trip.

'I estimated ...' 

My travelling Indian brother begin to response. By now, you could imagine he's already talking in his thick Indian accent while his head started to wobble.

'... this train will stop about 10 minutes, as a minimum.'

He said it with such confidence, along with his head wobbling to prove his point.

'Thank you brother.'

In my mind I did have some doubts though, but I just gave him some benefits as I felt a little bit hungry.

So, I got off the coach and went to look for some food. It seems that, the food stalls were somewhere at the end of the platform, and I had to walk a bit.

I managed to buy some freshly prepared tosai together with its idli condiment. Oh yes, you can never get more original tosai than this, not even at the Indian Banana Leaf stalls near the Ipoh Padang, which I'm used to, after each cricket match with the Royal Ipoh Club gentlemen during my school days.

Suddenly, I heard the train sounding its loud horn. Almost immediately, it started to move.

'Ohh sh**,'

Soon after I realised that I was in fact in a religious journey (well, sort of),  I then said,

'Astagfirullahalazim,'

I ran as fast as I could to catch the moving train. There's no way I could get back to my coach as it's at least 50 m away. I just boarded the nearest coach and managed to safely get into the moving train. The scene was just like in the movies.

Steam train with individual coach wagons

The coach that I boarded was meant for ladies. Yes, it's a ladies coach. To make it even more dramatic, the coach was full of nuns. They were a bit as surprised when they saw me. There was an empty seat near the door, and I quietly sat there. I did try to explain with my hand gestures, head wobbled and all, but they were just smiled, as if saying,

'Such a foolish young foreigner, what a pity.'

I saw the nuns were in a jovial mood. They were talking and chatting happily to each other and sang along the way. The next stop was Madurai. That means, I was in that coach full of nuns for about 3 hours.

I thought it was just like another movie scene.

Di Persisiran Lautan Hindi

Kayal Patnam

Seorang Sahabat R.A. suatu ketika di fisabilillah (Jalan Allah) menunggang kudanya sampai mencecah ke dalam laut lalu berkata, "Kalau aku tahu ada daratan di seberang sana, akan aku ke sana menyebarkan kalimah Allah."

Aku di sini, tahu di seberang sana ada daratan (... Sri Lanka) dan berazam di dalam hati yang aku akan keluar di Jalan Allah ke sana suatu hari, insya Allah.

Graduation 1991

Glasgow University

Pagi aku bangun (selalunya tengahari).

Setelah berkemas-kemaskan diri dengan suit hitam kupinjam dari Murad, aku ke University.

Alvin 'memungutku' di Gibson Street.

Kemudian ke Hunter Hall East menandatangani album graduan, mengambil jubah dan hood, dan bergambar.

Di Senate Room, sebahagian dari para graduan (termasuk aku) diberi panduan ringkas tentang upacara graduation.

Ke Bute Hall yang gemilang, dan aku pun diberilah B.Sc. (Eng) in Aerospace Engineering.

Kemudian, bergambar, bergambar dan bergambar.

B.Sc. (Eng) in Aerospace Engineering, Glasgow University, July 1991

Bersama rakan-rakan dan pensyarah

Tahniah semua

Handsome looking your engineering graduates

Alvin and I

Where shall I be next?

Tour of Scotland

Tour I

Di petang Summer yang basah, bersama Fiat Uno 45 dari Arnold Clark, dan berbekal Gino Ginelli dan Irn Bru, kami membelah suasana ...

Segalanya yang mempersona dan menarik sekitar pergunungan Scotland.

• Kapal selam di Inveraray
• Bukit dan lembah di Fort William
• Monster yang tak timbul-timbul di Loch Ness
• The Last House di John O'Groats
• Waterfall di Dingwall
• Memancing di Stanley

(~500 batu / 805 km)

Tour II

Loch Lomond.

Fishing rod, Irn Bru dan aerobie (an improved version of frisbie), dan aku.

Atlantic Radio di radio usang Toyota si Murad. Apalah yang boleh kukatakan, cuma rileks semahu mungkin.

Tour of Scotland berterusan ....

• Fish & chips di Town Centre Stirling
• Mendaki Wallace Monument
• Doune Castle (sekitar kurun ke 14) di Doune
• Di Callender bersama Rob Roy (Scotland's most famous outlaw)
• Meneroka Trossachs (Scotland in miniature) bersama loch, gunung ganang, glen dan sungai
• Aberfoyle
• Dan balik ke Glasgow

Berteman Tanbihul Ghafilin

25 Jun 1991

Glasgow

Mungkin kali ini aku lebih takut dan kurang bersedia untuk menghadapi realiti dunia (yang pada hakikatnya tidak 'real' pun). Apapun, ku suruh sahabatku Murad melihatkan keputusan perperiksaan.

Dan aku, yang tidak bermaya ini, mengadu diri pada Allah. Ku capai kitab Tanbihul Ghafilin, karya Abulaits Assamarqandi, sampai ku terlelap dan termimpi-mimpi.

Kemudian Murad kembali. Tahniah. Engkau lulus dengan B.Sc in Aerospace Engineering dari University of Glasgow. Sedih kurasakan, apabila Murad terkandas kali ini.

Lewat petangnya sebelum Maghrib (sekitar 10.00 pm), ku beranikan diri ke universiti. Mencari namaku di papan tanda keputusan.

Suatu Musim Panas di Cumbria

Summer makin berseri. Lagu 'Sailing On the Seven Seas' di udara. Aku, Vin, Amir dan Shamshir benar-benar di dalam mood yang segar.

Di kiri atau kanan jalan terhampar tasik-tasik yang permukaannya berkilau dek matahari musim panas. Kami berhenti di Brockholes, merebahkan diri di persisian tasik indah. Sandwich tuna mengisi menu baersama yang tidak boleh ketinggalan lagi minuman Irn Bru.

Seterusnya ke Castlerigg Stone Circle dan sempat kami bersolat berteman kambing berbiri.

Aerospace Engineering Final Year Dinner

Bearsdean Suite, Hospitality Inn

Mula-mula, I don't give a damn tentang Final Year Dinner ni. Tapi si Hamzah dari Brunei mengajakku sungguh-sungguh.

Seterusnya, fikirku patut ku ke St Enoch shopping sedikit. Aku singgah di Nickleby's dan Tie Rack.

Malam ini rasanya smart sekali (mungkin perasan).

Mungkin tak macam A-Level Party dulu, tapi ini rasaku ada istimewanya.

Laylatul Jaa'izah (Night of Prize Giving)

Malam 1hb Syawal 1411

Bilikku yang selalu sepi, selalu sunyi, tiba-tiba pada malam ini bertukar suasana. Budak-budak bujang  datang sampai ku rasakan tak muat lagi bilikku ini.

Kami pun bertakbir mursal. Seorang demi seorang, mengambil giliran menerajui takbir.

اللّهُ أكبر

لا إلَهَ الا اللّه

اللّهُ أكبر اللّهُ اكبر

و لِلّه الحمدَ

Tak dapat dipertikaikan, di celah-celah itu, rasa nostalgia menikam ke penjuru hati.

Kemudian nasi himpit, kuah kacang, triffle, keropok, agar-agar, Bombay Mix dan Irn Bru, mengisi lapar-lapar kami ....

... hingga ke larut malam.

Cherry Pie di Suatu Musim Salju

Reading Room

Di luar sana, salju tak henti-henti turun. 
Beku dan memutih segala suasana.

Dan aku yang merempuh putik-putik halus salju tadi, dengan bersepatukan Nike sneakers ... terasa jemari kakiku kebasahan oleh salju yang telah cair.

Tengah-hariku di Bay Tree di persisiran Great Western Road. Mengadap hot chocolate dan cherry pie .....

Suatu Hari di Glasgow University

Subuhnya, aku bingkas bangun dari sleeping bag yang hangat. Berjemaah di Masjid al-Furqan. Surah Yassin ku baca buat pembuka hari.

Surat dari Ayahanda tercinta, ku balas suratnya terus dengan kertas nipis bertaip kemas.

Sarapan dengan nasi dan ayam masak kicap, lebihan semalam. Berpakaian lebih kurang, terus ke Hillhead dengan Tube. Kemudiannya ke Reading Room yang rekabentuknya telah memenangi anugerah istimewa.

Mengadap Macintosh clusters. Lama juga aku di sana ... dan tiba-tiba aku terhenti sejenak. Entah apalah yang silap formula worksheet di dalam Microsoft Excel sehingga data ku agak lari dan tidak konsisten.

Boring, lalu aku ke Hub. Ku capai Dextro Energy dan Halls dan kemudian ke University Library. Rileks sebentar sambil membaca apa yang perlu dibaca di dalam The Independent.

Aku kemudian kembali ke Reading Room.

Autumn - Winter 1990

11.30 malam

Aku kembali bertapa di Great Western Road.

Di kamar luas dan kekurangan perabut. Jendela kaca yang lebar menghadap jalanraya. Wall paper yang kemas. Rocking chair yang unik. Rose tiruan di pasu simple atas meja kecil. Rak majalah. Model Kamov Hokum, 747-400 dan Concorde.

Spray berbau pine. Foot warmer si Tony Frosties. Mini compo Shamshir dan sleeping bag tebal made in Dewsbury.

Sepanjang Great Western Road:

270 (1/R): Setahun pengajian bersama Lan & Rosman

112 (2/L): Lepak & melepak

244 (1/L): Norehan dll.

Sanam, Pabbis, Co-op, petrol station, Kelvinbridge, Swan National dan Boulevard.

Mungkin banyak lagi dan mungkin ada lagi selama ku teruskan pertapaan ini.

Keretapi Malam

Glasgow Central - London Euston

Perjalanan jauh dan membosankan.

Tambah lagi, bila tiada teman untuk diajak berbicara. Stesen keretapi Euston di kota London adalah lebih kurang enam jam dari sekarang. 

Mungkin subuhku di dalam koc. Dan solat-solat yang lain terpaksa dijama' dan diqasarkan. Dan lenaku malam ini, pasti di sandaran kerusi. 

Tiada, bagiku yang romantis tentang keretapi. Mungkin, aroma ucapan selamat tinggal, lebih berkesan di stesen keretapi.

Dengan terminal dan platform yang luas dan sepi, tentu sayu dan sendu, bertandang mesra.

Where I was in 1987-1988 ....

I was in my first year at Glasgow University from September 1987 until through out the summer of 1988.

My matric number: 871243

Initially my first flat was at:

29, Oakfield Avenue

Glasgow G12 8LL

Oakfield Avenue

After few months, I moved over to another flat at:

87 (1/R), Barrington Drive

Glasgow G4 9ES

Throughout the academic calendar year, in between the Martinmas, Candlemas and Whitsun Terms, I did some travelling in the UK as well as around Europe to the following cities or towns:

1. Dewsbury


2. Blackburn


3. Loch Lomond


4. Edinburgh


5. Newcastle upon Tyne


6. London


7. Paisley


8. Stirling


9. Falkirk


10. Carlisle


11. Sheffield


12. Manchester


13. Bradford


14. Leeds


15. Balloch


16. Southall


17. Stretenham


18. Dover


19. Calais


20. Brugge


21. Anterwerpen


22. Breda


23. Gorinchem


24. Bremen


25. Hamburg


26. Odense


27. Nyborg


28. Helsinger


29. Helsinborg


30. Stockholm


31. Fittja


32. Tensta


33. Rinkeby


34. Goteburg


35. Malmo


36. Copenhagen


37. Amsterdam


38. Brussels


39. Gent

It was on 17th May 1988, I celebrated the 1st day of Syawal in Glasgow, UK while the Aidil Adha on 24th July in Malmo, Sweden.

I also worked part time in a cafe with a mere salary of 12 pounds per day :(

Tok Guru

Supposedly, I was the great grandson of a Tok Guru.

My great grandfather the Tok Guru was a well known 'orang alim' originated from Penang. His name was Ahmad bin Abbas, or famously known as Lebai Ahmad.

Sometimes he goes under the pen-name Malik al Faqir al Haqir Ahmad bin Abbas Filfilan.

He passed away peacefully in 1963.

Aqaaid al Iman, written by Tok Guru

Seketika Itu

Seketika itu aku terpegun di jendela kamarku yang membuka luas pandangan luar. Salji sedang turun. Putik-putik sehalus kapas, melayang-layang menjunam dari langit. Aduhai, aduhai indahnya suasana. Aku semakin enak di situ. Salji makin lebat. Semuanya memutih. Aku turun ke bawah.

Inikah salji?

Kukepal, kuramas, kukepal, kubaling ke dinding. Aku kemudiannya berlari-lari ke Kelvingrove Park.

Memang, dingin bagai salji, putih bagai salji, suci bagai salji.

Cuma di keriangan ini, aku sendirian yang merasakannya. Benar, sungguh aku, aku suka begini. Tapi, di suatu sudut yang terceruk di dalam hati ini membisikkan, 'tentu lebih indah kalau berteman.'

Kelvigrove Park
Glasgow
Feb 1988

di mana-mana

Rose, kulihat engkau di mana-mana. Walau sekarang ini tiada sekerap dulu, tapi engkau tetap mendatang. Aku rindu pada dirimu sayang. Tapi aku juga tahu, bukan sekarang masanya.

Sabarlah, tunggulah, haraplah dan yang terutama ... pohonlah kepada Allah, agar dapat kita bersama keranaNya.

Glasgow

Rinduku Kini

Rinduku kini
pada Jannah
tapi bukan pada 
berjenis sungai
atau merdu
bidadari memanggil
juga tiap pohon
yang ditanam
tapi padamu
oh Allah
biarlah hambaMu 
yang sebegini dhaif
dapat bertemu 
Tuhannya

Barrington Drive
Glasgow 
Jan 1988

Dua Pucuk Aerogramme

Terkadang kala
terfikir juga aku
pada setianya
kau berharap
apa kita 
punya destini
yang mampu
mengajak pulang
hati mudaku
pada hangat
rindumu

Hunter Hall West
Glasgow University
Disember 1987

Dialog

Suaramu tadi
tanpa ku pinta
kembali menyegarkan
kisah-kisah manisku
siapapun engkau
ku berterima kasih
sepenuh hati
juga siapa tahu
kalau nanti
kita dipertemukan
(entah apalah pula ceritamu ...)

Masjid al-Furqan
Carrington Street
Glasgow
Disember 1987